Sunday, 17 January 2016

Woman Who Hasn't Had Sex For Four Years Says Her Sex Drive Is Back With Vengeance

woman in stipey top photo

But, just how easy is it to take a break from sex? Looks like women are now swapping sex for celibacy. Tara Cameron, 26, is a sales assistant from London is one woman who hasn't had sex for four years... She shares her story on going celibate for four years.

"I’ve been celibate for four years, but started dating again recently. It’s clear some men see me as a challenge, which is annoying, but it helps me weed out the guys who only want sex, rather than those who are genuinely interested in me.

I was with my ex from the age of 15 to 21. I was young but wanted more commitment than he was prepared to give, so the relationship broke down. After that, I had a few flings but wasn’t getting anything out of the relationships so, four years ago, I decided to have a break altogether and concentrate on improving my life.

Tara Cameron photo

Since then, I’ve taken a well-paid job and I’ve bought all the furniture in my rented flat, plus my car. I relish my independence and meeting a man has sunk further down my list of priorities. Friends and family have even questioned my sexuality. My grandad has asked why I don’t have any boyfriends and I try to explain, but older generations don’t understand celibacy.

Before, women were afraid of being left on the shelf, and society expected them to get married and have babies. Well, not any more. I have friends who are also celibate – they were treated badly by their last boyfriend, or are focusing on work – so we go out clubbing together. It feels freeing to know we’re just focusing on our friendship, not trying to pull.

For some women, sex is a currency, and I have friends who use it to attract men, but for me, it’s about love and intimacy. I do feel lonely at times, or occasionally envious if I spot a couple cuddling when I’m out, but I’m prepared to wait however long it takes for that good guy to show up.

For many years I was on a contraceptive injection to help with a skin complaint and this affected my sex drive, so I never seemed to fancy anyone. Now I’ve stopped using it, however, my sex drive has returned with a vengeance, which in a way makes it harder to stick to being celibate.

I’ve recently started dating again, but have yet to meet a guy who really respects my celibacy. When I’ve told someone after a couple of dates that I’m celibate, they either never call again or try to talk me out of it. It’s frustrating, but helps sort the men from the boys.

I always went for a very specific type of man before – tall, dark and handsome – but now I’m more open-minded. I have desires, but keeping busy makes me too tired to act on them. That doesn’t stop me from looking at a man and thinking: ‘Oh, he’s hot!’ from time to time.


Yet I feel no rush to accept the first guy who comes along. I want the whole package – physical attraction and an emotional connection. It will happen when it happens.”

Source: Sun