A 36-year-old serial dater with a difference, Jenny Hendle only wants to be romanced by married men, while refusing advances from single guys. The twice-divorced mum-of-two has already dated nine married men and feels no guilt about seeing other women’s husbands. Jenny, a bakery worker, says: “I believe there are no loyal and honest men, they don’t exist.
“I have no interest in dating single men who will promise me the world then cheat on me. “When I start to date a married man there is never any pretence of falling in love or long-term commitment. “I know that at the end of the day he will go home to his wife and I’m happy that I will go home alone with no strings attached.
“My relationships with married men don’t get complicated. That’s the way I like it.” And she believes her open attitude makes her the perfect mistress. She adds: “If a man wants an affair they couldn’t wish for a better experience than with me.” Growing up, Jenny believed in true love and commitment.
She explains: “Slowly I realised it was all a fantasy. “As a teenager I saw my dad persistently cheat on my mum. It was heart-breaking. “We all knew it was happening and it broke my mum’s heart. “The confrontations it caused were awful. I grew up accepting that this is how men behave.”
“My friends would tell me they were being cheated on too. My early experience of men made me wary of who I dated.” At the age of 27, Jenny met the 36-year-old man who would become her first husband. The pair dated for a year then married in July 2000. Jenny had the first of her two daughters, who is now 15.
But only two years into the marriage, Jenny divorced him as she believed he was unfaithful. She recalls: “I was sad but was determined not to let it affect future relationships.” In 2003 she fell for a 38-year-old company director and says: “This time I thought it was different.”
The couple dated for five years, during which time Jenny had her second daughter, who is now 12. They married in 2008 but despite her husband remaining faithful, sadly the relationship didn’t work out and the pair divorced three years later. After her second divorce and having to constantly hear of her friends being cheated on, Jenny made the decision to give up on men.
She explains: “Dating in today’s society has changed, it is so dishonest and I didn’t want to be part of it.“I realised it is in the male nature to behave this way and firmly believe there’s no such thing as a faithful man. “I’m not a man hater — I just don’t think men are made to be with one woman.
“So I don’t want to try and be in a relationship if it will end in cheating.” For this reason, four years ago, Jenny made the decision to only date other women’s husbands. She says: “As soon as I decided this in my mind it all made sense and I never looked back. “The first married man I met was in December 2011 at a club.
“We got chatting and he asked me out. He told me he was married and that his wife was pregnant but that she wasn’t interested in sex. I was surprised that I felt 100 per cent OK with what I was being told. “I actually felt more in control because I knew he was married and his wife was pregnant.
“It meant I didn’t have to give him my heart. “His work in security, doing overnight watches on building sites, meant he was often away from home.
“So when my kids went to see their dads, I’d see him. We dated for four months. Being with him gave me a sense of control. “It was so much better than dating single men as I had a satisfaction of knowing this man would not go behind my back.” Jenny has not looked back since. She says: “Being the other woman, not only do you know where you stand, it’s flattering that you have been chosen over his wife.
“I never feel guilty doing what I’m doing, it takes two to tango. “I don’t set out to ruin someone’s relationship. “I feel sad for their wives that their husband is doing this but if he wasn’t doing it with me, he would be off doing it with someone else. “Why should I be criticised for dating a man who is married? I’m unattached, he’s the one having an affair, not me.
“My friends see where I’m coming from as they’ve known me for years and know I’ve been treated badly by men. They don’t judge me but they don’t all agree with what I’m doing.” Jenny has no plans to settle down in a long-term relationship. She admits: “They are just flings. I enjoy them because it is exciting, but I don’t have to worry about the future. The risk of getting hurt is so much lower.”
Now Jenny meets married men when she is out and claims they approach her. She says: “I don’t date every married man I meet, I turn a lot down. “Usually we just get chatting at a bar or online then arrange a date. I know they are married as they wear a ring or tell me from the start. “We go for dinners out, sometimes for weekends away and enjoy all the benefits of a relationship without commitment.”
Jenny has rules when it comes to her unusual personal life. She says: “I would never play too close to home and I would never betray a friend. “I’ve had friends’ husbands approach me, but I would never do that. I also don’t introduce them to my children. They are not part of my family. “Some of the men I have dated have had previous affairs where the mistress has turned ‘bunny boiler’ and tried to ruin their life.
“They threaten to tell their wives or become too attached. I don’t want to do that.” Jenny claims she would never cheat on one of her dates. She says: “When I am in a relationship I’m 100 per cent committed, I never date two married men at once.” Her view on men has now rubbed off on her daughters.
Jenny says: “My 15-year-old already has been heartbroken over boyfriends cheating on her. I can’t help but tell her all men are the same.” For now Jenny says she cannot imagine a future with a committed man, accepting she will be happy always being the other woman.
She says: “It doesn’t matter if it’s a fling or an ongoing thing, I’ve been involved in relationships with married men that have lasted years or days, it’s all the same for me. “I’m happy, they’re happy and the wife is none the wiser — and what they don’t know can’t harm them.”